The Death Inside The Death Summit by Nicole Summit Banner
The Death Inside The Death Summit by Nicole Summit Banner

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The Death Inside The Death

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Death doesn't fix a family. Death reveals a family.

The greeting-card version says terminal illness gathers everyone at the bedside and dissolves the old grudges.

For millions of us, it does the opposite — and nobody prepared us for that. Not our training, not our therapy, not our culture.

And underneath the grief for the person, there's a second grief almost no one names: the death of the hope that your family would ever become the family you needed. The repair that ran out of time. That's the death inside the death.

For five days, we named it — out loud, together, with some of the most trusted voices in end-of-life care, family systems, and grief work.

This is for you if…

This is for you if you're walking a loved one to the door of death inside a complicated family — feeling twelve years old again in the group chat, terrified of the bedside going wrong.

And it's for you if you do this work professionally — the death doula, hospice nurse, or chaplain who has made peace with dying itself, but is being quietly consumed by the family systems around it.

Either way: you're not failing. You were never given a map for this. This is the map.

The voices you'll hear

  • Stephen Jenkinson

    Stephen Jenkinson

    Author, cultural activist, and the founder of the Orphan Wisdom School

  • Karen Wyatt MD

    Karen Wyatt MD

    Hospice Physician, Author, Host of the End-of-Life University Podcast

  • Pixie Lighthorse

    Pixie Lighthorse

    Author, Grief Educator, Wisdom Keeper

  • Daniel Maté

    Daniel Maté

    Author, Composer-Lyricist, Podcaster, "Mental Chiropractor"

  • Claire Bidwell Smith

    Claire Bidwell Smith

    Internationally renowned American therapist, author, and grief expert

  • Francesca Arnoldy

    Francesca Arnoldy

    Community Doula, Author, and Researcher, Founder of Contemplative Doula

  • Wilka Roig

    Wilka Roig, MA, MFA, PLC

    Death Activist, Transpersonal Psychologist, Death Doula, Grief Counselor

  • Amy Wright Glenn

    Amy Wright Glenn

    Founder and director of the Institute for the Study of Birth, Breath, and Death

  • Lashanna Williams

    Author, Artist, Educator, Death Doula, Director at A Sacred Passing

Five days, one arc


Day 1 · The Truth Nobody Says Out Loud — breaking the silence about how common this really is

Day 2 · Why You Feel Twelve Again — the science of regression, and finding your adult self when the system pulls backward

Day 3 · Surviving the Foxhole — boundaries, scripts, and nervous-system tools for the acute season

Day 4 · The Death Inside the Death — grieving the hope that dies with the person

Day 5 · Portal to Healing — ritual, real forgiveness, and death as threshold


Meet the Host

I'm Nicole Heidbreder — hospice nurse, death doula, and grief educator. I've accompanied hundreds of deaths and trained hundreds of end of life doulas. I can hold that room.

And none of it prepared me for my own family when my father was dying. I grieved him — and I grieved the family we were never going to become. That second grief is why this summit exists.

Come as you are. Bring the family you actually have.

How it works

All ten conversations are recorded and waiting for you. For $47, one time, you get unlimited lifetime access to every interview, plus the free gifts the speakers shared. Watch from anywhere, at your own pace, as many times as you need. No camera, completely private. Built for people in the thick of it.